I don’t imagine the following will do one bit of good…but I feel a helluva lot better after sending it.

Senator Hutchison,

I’ve written to you on several occasions and your usual response it to either ignore me, or mail form letters to my home address featuring the latest in non-sequitur arguments. As such you’ll at least understand, if not forgive, that this time around I’m going to be less than cordial.

If I wanted to understand why people wore coonskin caps, how transistor radios changed the face of America, or the origins of that unholy pairing known as “The Smothers Brothers,” I’d ask someone who’s roughly your age.

If I want to understand HTML 5, how Ruby on Rails has revolutionized web development, what Google Wave might mean for worldwide communication, or how to run a Ulduar raid…

Well, put simply, I am not going to ask someone who was born in 1943.

I’m not trying to be ageist, nor do I think you’re an unintelligent person.

However you cannot deny that you lack the skills, technical background, and general online experience to pass judgment on what the Internet should or should not be. And forming this random committee, all to subvert the efforts of the FCC to protect the future of the Internet, is a rather eye-narrowing maneuver.

TL;DR*

Stop screwing with this bill, and please don’t meddle with things you don’t understand. You may very well break the Internet.

And, in case you’re still confused about how mucking about with stuff like this is a bad idea, just ask your colleague Sen. Ted “The Dump Truck” Stevens.

Leave it alone.

-Jeremiah J. Shaw-

*TL;DR is an online acronym that means “Too Long, Didn’t Read.” Seems that would be a particularly handy expression to know in Washington D.C.

j.s.

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