I Like Texans.

It should be no secret to anyone that I’m a fan of the NFL, given that I’ve been blogging the travails of my Chinstrapped Yardgnomes (through this site’s many iterations), for almost a decade now.

But what might be surprising to many of you is that I’m not a fan of the Patriots.

No, my New England loyalty resides solely on the shoulders of the Boston Red Sox who, by the way, gave the best exiting “fuck you” to the Yankees that they could muster on Sunday. (In the final game of the season, Boston beat the Billion Dollar Boys from the Bronx, thereby stripping them of the chance to win the division and sending them limping into the post-season via the Wild Card spot.)

Granted, the bastards are still going to the playoffs.
And granted, we’ll spend the off-season in physical therapy, wondering what might’ve been…
And yes, I’m sure my tears taste like delicious sour grapes to Yankee fans everywhere.

But still…it was a tiny ray of sunshine in an otherwise Yankee clouded post-season.

I digress.

My point here was that, although it would be nice to care about a team that wins as often as the Patriots do, I’m simply not a fan.

No, my allegiance lies with the Texans. You have no idea how difficult that was for me to write.

And fortunately, the Texans have come out swinging this season. There was the savage Opening Day beating of Indianapolis, a come-from-behind shocker (uh…wait) in D.C, and then last weeks solid game against the Raiders.

I think there was another game in there somewhere…but I seem to have forgotten about it already.


Anyway, through the first three wins, my mantra has been “Wow…the Texans of old would’ve blown that play/dropped that pass/missed that tackle/lost that game]…
And that’s an awfully nice place to be when you’re watching your team.

The Giants come to town this week, and if they hadn’t just nerfed our unbelievably awesome tailgate scene I might’ve gone to the stadium and jockeyed for a ticket there in the parking lot.

Guess not.

Oh, and speaking of Tailgate-gate, all of you who think that the Texans closed their parking lot gates to everyone without season tickets because of a bunch of thugs sucker punching one another after the Cowboys game?

You are adorable.

This is a $60 million-a-year business you’re talking about. They don’t do anything that quickly.

This was always going to happen, and the Cowboys game was always going to be the catalyst. Actually, I bet they’re sorely disappointed that the above fight was the only thing they could point to as evidence of a policy change. I’m pretty sure there has never been a sporting event, in any city, EVER, that didn’t have at least one fight afterward.

But won’t someone please think of the children? Oh…and drop a Hamilton in the slot on the way in, sucker.”

And before I get all riled up and start in on how the “Family-Oriented” concept is ruining adulthood in America, I’m going to end this right now.


This article has 2 comments

  1. Dixie

    I’m proud of you Jer.

    I’m not personally a big fan of the NFL or the Texans, but I am pretty gung-ho about backing all things ‘Texan’. So, way to have that covered, mate.

  2. j.s.

    It isn’t easy.

    There’s country music and pick-up trucks and “lone stars” everywhere…

    Not a yacht club in sight. =]

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