All that time spent browsing, uploading, customizing, polishing… And in the end I still hated the way it looked. So much so that I let it all go, and stopped writing completely. I suppose, at the time, I was enamored with the concept of being both published in print and having a professional-looking blog. So naturally I needed a sleek new WordPress theme that would convey my hilarious takes on modern life with the proper style and verve…
But who am I trying to kid.
Trees around the world breathed a collective sigh of relief when they learned of ENVY’s bankruptcy, as they would no longer be transubstantiated into a gazpacho of shallowness, elitism, and very nearly coherent drivel. (They’re much happier with the ascension to “Modern Chinchilla Monthly.”)
Still, they were kind enough to publish my nonsensical rantings to an audience of dozens, paying me $50 per-article to boot. And, as the longest continual columnist in that magazine’s very short history, I suppose they liked my stuff.
I’m not sure if I ever mentioned this to you guys, but at one point I actually received fan mail. (Believe me, no one was as shocked as I was.) It seems a few people liked my Seven Deadly Sips article so much, they emailed my editors to tell them how funny I am, and that I was the best part of their magazine.
And yes, thinking about that still makes me happy.
So what now?
I’ve left the drunken glitz and pseudo-glamour behind, bought a house in the ‘burbs, and settled down into a deafeningly quiet routine of commutes, chores, monthly bills and Facebook posts. As a result, I’m not sure what I really have to say that’s worth anyone’s time. Or, for that matter, worth my time to write. I mean, I could be working on my 100th Paragon level in Diablo III, people… Priorities.
But it’s still writing. And I guess that’s something. This feels good, in an awkward way.
Maybe I’ll see you soon.