Pale Leo – Part I

Three months ago, I went to see my doc to have him pop the hood and do my annual check-up/blood work.  To my surprise, though perhaps not to those around me, he recommended I get more exercise and, “like all of us, you need to lose some weight.”


How is that possible?  I’m svelte, lithe, fashi-oh my God I’m almost 40 and wearing a size 38 jeans, aren’t I?

Thus began a bout of honest introspection.  Am I really that big?  Surely someone would’ve told me if I’d ballooned into a gelatinous suburbanite cliché, right?  Right?

Or would they?

Because there’s no way that Ralph Lauren, Seven, and Michael Kors are all lying to me.  I AM comfortably wearing a size 38.  (I mean, they’re a little loose…unless I just washed them…)

These thoughts continued until the following day, when I received the report on my blood work.  Cholesterol was borderline manageable, but my triglyceride levels were well north of 300 (apparently they should be around 150), which prompted him to request a follow-up visit in 90 days.  At which time, if nothing had changed, I’d need to go on meds to address the problem, and would remain on them for the foreseeable future.

I do have a pretty awesome GP though, and he’s well aware that I’m opposed to such things.   As such, he’d written some suggestions about changing my diet, and recommended some books that sounded like episodes of Captain Caveman.

“Primal Blueprint”
“Civilized Caveman”
“The Paleo Manifesto”

Paleo?  I think I’ve heard of that…  Isn’t that the newest Atkins/South Beach/ketosis/etc. hotness?  The kind that sends housewives to their local Barnes & Noble every 6 months for books on the latest in unhealthy weight fluctuation?  Why would my doctor tell me this?  This can’t be good for me.  Did he really just tell me I should eat like a caveman?  What kind of quack am I seeing?

For those who aren’t sure what the paleo diet actually consists of, basically anything that your ancient forebears couldn’t have hunted and/or gathered is off limits.  That means no grains, no bread, no refined sugar, no chips, no dairy.    Just meats, fruit, veggies and certain types of nuts.

And try as I might, I failed to find an ancient nomadic tribe whose fare consisted of Raisin Bran, Fluffernutters and farfalle.

So, being me, I sat down and consulted the Google.  And the things people were saying on various message boards (and I covered quite a few of them for differing opinions), were all encouraging.  So I figured I’d give it a shot for 90 days.

The 90 days are now officially up.

I’ll talk about the results in my next post.



Leave a Comment