Dooz…I Duz Them.

Dooz…I Duz Them.

So, as I was making my way back to the new Townhouse o' Horrors with a Jeepload of random detritus collected from the house formerly known as the Shaw residence, I stopped at a gas station for a beverage. I picked up a bottle of water and began performing the "Dance of the Cramped Gas Station FoodMart." Lean to the right to close the refrigerator door! Pirouette around the spinning map display! Lift arms while sliding past the chip rack! Swivel hips past the candy to face Bibhu the attendant, who appears to…Read more …
Welcome to 1998

Welcome to 1998

So, since I'm seriously considering moving to this little town, I had to do a quick search for their local paper. The Fulshear Times Horrifying. Simply horrifying. Now sure, I could scoff at their probing journalism, given that the only headline on the page is basically: "NEW SUNDAY SCHOOL/DAYCARE TEACHER STARTS AT LOCAL CHURCH" And the copy under the photograph... Not only does it inform us that this woman attended "Texas Tech in Lubbock" (protip: the inclusion of the city is unnecessary as it's the main branch of that university. Now if she'd…Read more …
The Break of Data

The Break of Data

*bzzzt....bzzzt....bzzzt* goes the cell phone on the nightstand. One eye creaks open and stares at the source of the noise, folded neurons begin to once again flower into activity. See that thing? It's a phone. The noise it's making is called a "ring." It means someone is trying to get in touch with you. Naturally, this synaptic process takes longer than four ring pulses, and by the time the phone is lifted from the nightstand the call has already gone to voicemail. Dammit. Well, maybe it wasn't that important. Wait. See? If it…Read more …
Dahlink, I Love You, But Give Me Park Avenue

Dahlink, I Love You, But Give Me Park Avenue

Yep. Updatin's a bit scarce 'round these parts. Sorry about that; I've a helluva lot going on. Not the least of which is prepping to move in about three weeks. So we called off the search for a dog-friendly, non-ghetto house in the Heights (qualification: one that rented for less than $2,100 per-month), and have instead decided to move into my mom's old townhouse. Obviously I wouldn't classify the average townhouse as a "dog-friendly" domicile, but what it lacks in backyard, it makes up for in transience. See, we're still trying to buy…Read more …
This Thing On?

This Thing On?

Hey there bleuxpee. Four months later, and I'm attempting to step back up to the mic and rock it one time. So what's cookin? Well, we're being forced to move out of our house at the end of next month. Seems the owners decided to sell it, and did so with a quickness. (To the tune of $290,000. The Heights is a ridiculous place to buy a house.) As a matter of fact, I'm sitting at my dining room table right now listening to several contractors harumpf in my kitchen over spreadsheet lists…Read more …
Aliens in the Garden

Aliens in the Garden

No one told me that Nanner flowers were so goddamn scary... It's rather unsettling to encounter that horrid pink thing in the morning, particularly when you're not expecting it... (That's what she said.) j.s.Read more …